The Walking Ted- A HIMYM Zombie Apocalypse Fic
by dr-canis-horriblus
Summary: When a virus breaks out that unleashes zombies in New York City, Ted, Barney, Marshall, Lily, and Robin become the most legendary zombie apocalypse team that's ever existed. Rated T for mild gore and violence later on, the first chapter is pretty mild.
1. How I Formed My Zombie Apocalypse Team

_It's like playing laser tag…but instead of annoying, snotty little kids, these are actual undead people we're trying to shoot down! Wow!_

Those had indeed been Barney's first words the moment after he shot his first zombie. To this day, he couldn't believe that there even were zombies, though Marshall, of course, treated this epidemic like it was an every day thing and that he had predicted this for many years (Which he truly had.)

It wasn't always this way, obviously. And it wouldn't always be this way. It all began a few weeks back, on just a normal day. As usual, the gang was sitting in their booth at MacLaren's, but, atypically, today there was discussion of a highly communicable virus that was going around lately, one that no one could remember the name of.

"Heronyza..yeah, I give up." Barney was attempting to say the name, but it was to no avail. "Well, anyway, this whole hype, about how deadly it is? It's stupid. It's just a common cold, guys. I mean, ya take some Nyquil, or chug down a bottle, depends on how low on alcohol you are, ya go to sleep, and you're done. There. Call Dr. Stinson in the morning if you're _not _100% better." He drained his glass, savoring the taste of the last drop.

"Yeah, I don't think you're fully aware of the severity here," Ted countered slowly. If Barney caught the disease, surely he'd be the first one to complain, to say the least, and Ted was positive of this. "This disease is no common cold, in fact, that's why I've got a plan."

"Run away as fast as you can from those infected while crying and screaming?" Robin suggested mockingly, as Barney smiled at her teasing the way he always did, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"No, I'm going to-"

"Hop on a bus full of diseased people and accidentally get yourself killed?" Lily threw in.

"Would you guys just let me talk, this is important!" Ted snapped. For a few seconds, they were silent, and just as Ted was about to speak, Barney interrupted with, "So are you gonna prevent yourself from getting the disease, or are you gonna lie down without your sleep mask one night and inadvertently breathe in the death that enters your window?"

Ted turned his head, glaring angrily at Barney.

"What? This is important stuff for us to know!" Barney retorted defensively, allowing his voice to trail off as he held his next glass up to his mouth, about to drink it.

"Go on, Ted," Marshall allowed.

"Thank you. Now, what I was saying is that, in times of disease and turmoil, it's always important to have stuff on hand. Like…a _lot_ of stuff. So, on that note, I have decided to pack a quarantine pack in case we need it." Ted reached down quickly and pulled up a medium sized green duffel bag, placing it on the table in front of them.

Barney rolled his eyes. To be prepared was one thing, but to be overprepared, as Ted was, was another thing entirely. To Barney, what would happen would happen, and it was useless to be so skittish about it.

From there, Ted began pulling items out of the bag."Medical masks, one for each of us. Granola bars and Gatorade, in case of food shortage, bottled water, batteries…"

This continued on for some ten minutes or so. By the time Ted reached the bottom of the bag, Barney had his head on the table, Robin had her head on Barney's shoulder, and Marshall and Lily both looked genuinely bored to death.

"And, to top it all off, scented candles." Ted finished with great confidence, smug as ever.

"Why scented?" Lily inquired.

"Because, Lily, if you're trapped in your apartment for days on end, you at least want all of the rooms to smell good." He then added, under his breath, "What's with this one, am I right?"

"Ted, as much as your little dork pack could be helpful, don't you think it's a bit much?" Robin asked, gently nudging Barney to get his head off the table. "I mean, this isn't the apocalypse or anything. Back in Canada, this kind of thing was physically nothing to us. If you had a hockey stick lodged halfway between your eye and your brain, there was a good chance you'd be up the next morning and ready to shoot moose, so…yeah, we literally own you guys when it comes to medical care." She proudly swigged half of her beer as Barney just stared at her.

"Wow," he commented. "That sentence was so Canadian that I think I need a translator."

Marshall pondered Robin's point, the back of his hand against his mouth as he thought. "You know, Robin doesn't have a point here."

"What?!" she reacted in a higher than usual voice. "I…have a point, Eriksen!"

"Yeah, provided we're in Canada, which we're not," Marshall countered sassily. "And who says that this isn't the apocalypse? The year's 2015, guys. I mean, we're three years past 2012, and forgive me if I'm wrong, but technically we were supposed to be seeing zombies three years ago. Those flesh eating creatures don't give you a warning as to when they're coming, they just come, and before you know it, you'll be eating your best friend's organs. I'm sorry if I eat your organs, Ted."

"Apology accepted." He high-fived Marshall.

"Guys, there are no zombies, end of story." Barney interjected, sick and tired now of his friends' far out assumptions. "I mean, sure we've all maybe once had that zombie chick fantasy-"

"Barney," Lily interrupted, not in the mood for one of Barney's creepy fantasy stories today. "Please don't."

"Look, all I'm saying is that this will all pass," Barney concluded. "Give it time."

(It didn't pass.)

Weeks later, the infection worsened everywhere, and Ted was the first to move out of his apartment to find contaminant free grounds, then followed by Marshall and Lily, and finally Barney and Robin. According to the news, there wasn't exactly a safe area, but the best bet would be outside, where the air was still somehow cleaner.

Despite the whining of Barney, Ted erected a few tents in an upstairs parking garage for all of them to stay in, at least until the virus weakened. Using his duffel bag as a pillow and snuggling underneath a warm throw, it didn't take Ted a long time to drift off into a deep sleep.

…

It had to be at least 10:00 the next morning when it happened. Ted jolted awake, drenched in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. He recalled his surroundings- right, he'd put up a tent to sleep in because of some virus. He wasn't in his apartment anymore. But something wasn't right, and Ted could feel it- that horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The moment he unzipped the tent and stepped out, he was tackled by something that he quickly realized looked neither human nor animal. And whatever it was, it was trying desperately to bite into his neck, He screamed for Marshall instinctively as he struggled to fight off the being, whatever it may have been.

But it was Robin who came to the rescue first. "Holy crap!" she screamed. Instantly, she whipped out her handgun, insuring that the aim was right before pulling the trigger. Luckily, it was, and with a bang, the zombie fell dead to the ground.

Ted, obviously more than shaken, was panting heavily minutes afterward, his entire body quivering as he stood. Then, looking down, he noticed that there were flecks of blood spattered on his shirt, not from a bite, but from the zombie itself.

"Aww, man, that thing ruined my shirt!"

Just then, Barney emerged from the tent behind them. "What happened, is Ted okay? I heard screaming." He then noticed the zombie corpse on the ground, and his eyes widened in fear; "Oh no," he said under his breath. Then, a minute later, "Marshall's trying to prank us with fake zombies! HA! Nice one, dude." He patted Marshall on the shoulder, who was still staring at the zombie.

"Um…Barney, that wasn't fake."

"Uh-huh, sure it wasn't, ya trickster! Ya had us all scared to death back there, I was fearing for Ted's life! Man, you're an even greater prank-puller than I am, and that's saying something!"

Robin bent down to the body of the zombie and lifted its head. The head popped off with one simple pluck. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this isn't fake."

Barney's smile faded from his face as he recoiled slightly. "Oh…so, that wasn't a prop?"

Ted shook his head slowly. "Not. A. Prop."

Barney nervously scratched the back of his head. "Would you excuse me for a minute?" He quickly dove back into the tent and zipped it. "I'll be here when you need me, guys. Just holler, I promise."

Lily changed the subject. "Well, on a more positive note, at least Robin had a gun."

"Yeah, if I didn't, Ted would be feasting on all our innards right now," Robin stated, tucking the gun away as Ted looked perplexedly at her. Why was he the one that everyone thought was most likely to become a zombie?

"I can't believe this is really happening," Marshall commented. "I mean, all my years I've- I've dreamed of this, literally and figuratively. But it really is happening. And it really is kinda awesome."

Robin shrugged, halfway in agreement to that. At least now was a time that she could legitimately (and legally) use her gun, and for good purposes too.

Barney reemerged from his tent and took a deep breath. "Okay, guys, I have a plan. Since, evidently, there's some kind of creepy zombie breakout going on right now, my suggestion is that I, Barney Stinson, lead our team and…try to get us to a safer area or something."

They all looked apprehensively at Barney, who continued, "What? I'm the laser tag master, have you forgotten that? Seriously, if anyone here has some serious shooting skills, it would be me. I mean, shooting zombies with actual bullets can't be too different from shooting kids with laser guns. _Logic, _guys.

Ted still looked reluctant, so Barney continued further. "Plus, I'm terribly attractive," he said, naming off reasons on his fingers one by one. "I can punch pretty hard, and I'm the only one here who's dressed for the occasion. I'm your guy!"

"You're wearing a suit," Marshall stated dryly.

"Even in times of an apocalyptic nature, a bro must continue with his sartoriality," Barney countered, quickly kissing the tips of his fingers and pointing them skywards. "One for the bro gods."

"He does make some logical points," Robin said in agreement with her husband's harebrained schemes. "I say that I act as his assistant, because, let's face it, Scherbatsky's got some uh…pretty quick gun hands herself." She walked over to Barney, draped her arm over his shoulder, and winked. "Pow."

And so it was, that, without further argument, Barney and Robin became leaders of the team. They were, surprisingly, both better than expected- or at least Robin was, due to her past experiences with guns and shooting ranges as a whole. The same night, the gang 'suited up' with the additional clothes that they had brought in preparation. They would swap out their old outfits for new, battle worthy ones, clothes that were well suited to zombie killing.

And Marshall, knowing for years that this was going to happen at some point, provided everyone else with small golden badges, explaining to them that he 'made the badges years ago in the instance that they would all end up a zombie apocalypse team.'

He was indeed right- they were just exactly that. All five of them stood there, in the desolated, soon to be ruins of New York City. They were the only survivors now. They were the MacLaren's Five, and they wouldn't be taken down by some beings from the grave. They would put up a fight, even if they risked their lives doing so


	2. It Takes Two to Be Awesome

Days passed, and each day, the zombie population continued to grow. Ted tallied how many zombies were daily on a miniature whiteboard that he had packed in his duffel bag- so far, the number was 108 and rising.

By now, the common goal had become clear- find an area not infested with zombies. If only it were that easy. Everywhere they turned, down every street and alleyway, they would wind up fleeing due to the zombies already inhibiting that area. Nighttime was particularly not safe, and someone has to be on constant guard duty as the others slept. Life was a waking nightmare. And they didn't even have alcohol to calm them.

Or did they?

On the tenth night of it all, as the five sat around a bonfire that Ted had built out of taxi tires, Barney announced, "Guys, this is driving me absolutely insane, I gotta get it off my chest." He ran his fingers through his hair, which, due to the lack of showers and sterile water lately, wasn't as clean as he would have liked it to be, and Robin sympathetically placed her hand on his left shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Barney could barely choke the words out. "I've..I've- I've been completely sober. For TWELVE STRAIGHT DAYS! Twelve straight days, guys, that's like…a really long time!"

"As apposed to twelve crooked days?" Ted remarked, his voice slightly sarcastic.

"We all have," Marshall replied calmly, throwing in a shred of rubber to fuel the flame. "But I think alcohol's the least of our problems right now, I mean, don't you think survival's kinda priority?"

All five of them, including Marshall, mentally debated that statement, before saying an array of mixed answers.

"No, not really."

"Yeah, I guess so.."

"If I have to die I'd rather die knowing I've at least downed a few beforehand."

"We all have serious problems."

"Yeah, I take that back, carpe diem exists."

And as the debate ended, suddenly, an idea started to form in Barney's mind. He glanced around at all of them, raising an eyebrow and hoping that at least one person would catch on. The light of the fire glimmered in his eyes, illuminating the mischief written up on his face. He and Robin's eyes locked together first, meeting by the dancing flames that highlighted both of their faces in a way that somehow revealed their thoughts.

His hand clamped onto hers, and they smiled with hints of deviance. He also realized that her hands had grown firmer than they used to be, and that once silky feeling they held had long been replaced by a seemingly tougher one from the many weeks of fighting.

No matter- they had a plan, and a good one at that.

…

Late in the night, as Marshall, Lily, and Ted rested, very quietly, Robin and Barney escaped the camp together. Barney had stolen one of Ted's fanny packs and stuffed it with a variety of things that he thought would be helpful to them, though none of those things were. At all.

Their plan wasn't complicated by any means- they would raid MacLaren's of whatever was left over and hopefully bring some drinks back to the camp.

The night was foggy as they walked through the streets, Robin holstering a gun and Barney a pocket knife- Ted's ruby bejeweled pocket knife, more accurately.

"The guys aren't gonna find out about this, right?" Robin asked Barney, knowing well that they would likely be dead if they did.

"No, of course not!" Barney answered quickly and with certainty. "Robin, we're the leaders of the team. We officially have more permission to do physically anything we want to than anyone else, and I DO mean anything, I mean…since we're completely alone right now, we might as well, y'know, get on with the fun stuff before it's too late and we either get killed, or…spiked through our insides with a pitchfork."

Robin cringed slightly. "Yeah, but first thing's first. This raid is important. We'll deal with the other stuff on the way back."

Barney smiled. "Indeed we will."

They walked for a while more through the eerily desecrated remains of the city, the fog masking the torn up buildings like ghosts in the darkness. The bar was evidently further from the camp than they realized- a _lot _further- and for a split second, a lightning bolt of a thought struck through Barney's mind, making him concerned that they wouldn't be able to find their way back later on. He soon shrugged off this thought, replacing it with the image of Robin, confidently, bravely striding next to him in her leather jacket, gun in holster. Clearly he had no reason to fear- she had his back.

Eventually, they did find the bar. Each letter on the sign was in place entirely, and the sign itself continued to glow strongly through the mask of fog, to Barney's surprise.

"Aren't..signs in the zombie apocalypse supposed to, like, flicker mysteriously, or is that just a myth?" He looked genuinely confused and glanced at Robin, who shrugged.

They moved stealthily as they walked down the steps to the doorway. Robin placed a finger on her lips, gesturing for Barney to be quiet. She slowly pulled open the door, peeking inside. A few overturned chairs and tables, but at least no blood or bones. Aside from that, the lighting was still perfect; eerily enough, it appeared like the place had been frozen in time. She silently motioned for Barney to follow her inside, and cautiously he did.

They sneaked behind the bar counter and immediately began filling their stock. Barney nabbed a bottle of Glen McKenna, proudly pointing to it, to which Robin responded to with a thumbs up.

Suddenly, their raid was interrupted by a noise- a scratching sort of noise that seemed to be coming from somewhere in the vicinity, somewhere creepily not at all far away, which caused Barney to freeze where he was standing. He opened his mouth to say something, but Robin held up her hand, motioning for him to keep quiet. There was a movement, a peculiar movement that she could sense. And it was getting closer.

Then, with an angry snarl, another zombie burst from the shadows (More accurately, the kitchen), and both Robin and Barney screamed simutaneously, then fled for their lives, out of the doorway, up the steps, and into the streets. Any other time, Robin would immediately shoot the creature down, but this time, she wasn't prepared, and the instinct to run dominated all others. Up until now, neither of them knew they had it in them to sprint as fast as they did, adrenaline surging through their veins as the creature gave chase behind them.

"Robin, do something!" Barney cried, dodging another wasted car tire.

"I can't!" she yelled back. "If I slow down to get the gun out, he'll catch up to us, and I can't let that happen!"

Once more, instinct took priority, and Barney declared, "Alright, Cecil, now's your time to shine!" He untied his tie as he ran, then turned and flung it at the zombie, aiming for its face. It was a truly heroic act, and Barney got his aim right as the tie temporarily blinded the creature.

Robin turned her head, and they both smiled at each other before high fiving mid sprint.

"We lost him!" she declared triumphantly. "Great job, Barney!"

"A noble tie sacrificed his life for that!" Barney stated, his voice shaky. They slowed, catching their breath for a few minutes, but not for very long- the zombie was soon up again and now in hot pursuit once more.

They continued fleeing; as they did, the creature suddenly and unexpectedly picked up a glass bottle, flinging it at Barney. Unfortunately, it hit, and the shards exploded off of his shoulders, causing him to fall face down.

"Alright, that's it!" Robin screamed. "You mess with Barney and you're dead, you crappy living scum!" And just as she was about to shoot, the zombie fell to the ground, exposing behind it…Ted?

"Ted?" She panted out his name in disbelief, lowering her gun.

"And you guys thought I'd be the first one out!" He smiled cockily. "Boom. Ownage. Mosby style."

Robin only rolled her eyes. She was proud of Ted having come to the rescue, obviously, but far from proud of his jokes that always seemed to come at an inopportune time. It didn't matter right now- as he stood there, in the white fog of the night, she couldn't help but think that he looked at least slightly heroic.


	3. Commence Food Raid and Heal Barney

Ted then noticed the fallen Barney, who was trying now to pick himself up off the ground.

"You okay, dude?" Ted asked concernedly, bending down to his friend, who was coughing from the impact of the fall. Ted extended a hand, and Barney grabbed onto it, pulling himself up.

"Yeah, Ted, I'm fine," Barney replied cockily, brushing the dirt and gravel off of his suit. "Just some minor injuries, y'know, nothing a little meds can't fix." His face was slightly bruised and dirty, and as he stood up, he realized that there was a warm moisture underneath his nose, accompanied by a searing pain that shot like fire across it. He placed his hand on the spot, and his fingers came away soaked in blood. Falling face forward had broken his nose.

To make matters worse, upon standing, he felt, in his back and shoulders, the fiery sting of several possible glass shards piercing his flesh, more warm, sticky blood oozing from the punctures and matting the cloth of his suit to his body. Evidently, he had fallen over the broken glass that littered the ground from the zombie's thrown bottle- directly on top of it.

He winced from the pain, and Robin helped him stand up, seeing that he was obviously injured.

"Come on, we gotta get the wounded soldier back to camp," she said to Ted, who hoisted Barney's arm up onto his shoulder for support.

"Wounded solider? Psh, yeah, right!" Barney scoffed, then, a second later, cried out "Oh God my back! Aaaghh!"

Robin and Ted exchanged glances with each other. "I took care of him last, it's your turn," Robin said accusingly to Ted.

"Nuh-uh, I took care of him last time he got injured, don't make me get out the chart!" he snapped in turn.

They arrived back at the camp few hours before sunrise, absolutely exhausted. The fire had died out long ago, and Lily and Marshall were sound asleep on their sleeping bags, snuggled up together.

"Thanks for all your support, buddy, it really means a lot," Barney told Ted, sleepily stifling a yawn. Without response, Ted dropped Barney to the ground with a _thud. _

"He's yours," Ted told Robin. "Now I'm going to go catch up on my sleep, if you'll be so kind to let me, and by sleep, I mean probably two hours. Peace out, hombre. Hasta la huevo."

Robin puzzled at Ted's completely incorrect Spanish for a couple of seconds, watching as he huffily retreated to his sleeping bag and zipped himself in. Barney was laying in pain on his back, unable to get himself up after Ted had dropped him.

"So…could you help me get this stuff outta my back, or am I gonna have to surgically remove them myself?"

"Sit up," Robin ordered firmly, and Barney did so, smiling mischievously in hopes that perhaps this would somehow lead into something else within a few seconds. From there, Robin began pulling his arms from the sleeves of his suit jacket. Next came the sleeves of his shirt, and she untied his tie, which was damp with blood from his wounds (He was absolutely enthralled by this, saying that it was truly awesome in all ways), before unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off of his body entirely.

From there, she demanded that he stay sitting up, and then proceeded to pluck the shards from his shoulders and chest, causing him to flinch each time.

"Robin Scherbatsky." He breathed out her name in admiration when the last fleck was out, sprawling his long, lank legs out in front of him and leaning back on his arms. "When did you become such a good medic?"

"Oh, this? It's nothing." She applied antiseptic ointment from Ted's duffel bag to his wounds before bandaging each one with the supplies Ted had packed. "You wanna know the secret? I lived in the Rockies. And when your dad brings you injured animals on a daily basis, saying that 'all men must be medically adept to survive in this cruel, unrelenting world', you kinda have to take his advice and learn to sew a moose calf's stomach up before you've even scored your first hockey trophy."

Barney was quiet for a couple minutes.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that? I don't speak Canadian."

She cuffed his cheek playfully, and he couldn't help but smile.

About three hours later, everyone was awake, but just barely. In a sense, they all looked a bit like the living dead themselves. They only had so many clothes to interchange, and by now, they'd used most of the soap that Ted had packed beforehand. Barney's hair was surprisingly mussed and scruffy for him, the way it was only when he woke up, and Lily's hair was not anywhere near as clean as she wished it to be, though right now this was the least of her concerns.

The sun had only just risen, casting a dull, hazy light through the wasted atmosphere, aiding the thick early morning fog. Ted stomped out the last burning embers of their bonfire, then announced, "Group meeting, guys. Now."

They tiredly joined in a circle around what was, last night, their only source of light, and sat down on the ground. Ted stood in the center.

"Okay, new plan," he declared. "Today's a new day, so you know what that means? It means that we, as a group, are gonna head north, and you know what else? North is zombie free! At least for now. I mean, I can't guarantee how long that'll last, but hey, it's worth a shot, and considering that I haven't gotten bitten yet, I'd say I'm actually doing pretty good so far, so…" He clapped his hands together enthusiastically. "Who's ready to do some hiking?"

Their faces were pictures of pure boredom and exhaust as they stared at him in silence, with tired, bleary eyes.

"Ted, we can't keep doing this," Marshall said matter of factly. "We're weak. You remember the last time Big Fudge here ate a decent meal? Yeah, exactly, me either. In all my years of fantasizing this, I gotta say, food shortage was truly the one I missed."

"Yeah, Ted, Mama needs her protein," Lily agreed weakly.

"Oh, you guys'll get food!" Ted assured them optimistically. He pulled up his food bag and showed it to them. "Before I left, I, uh, made sure to be super prepared for this whole, you know, apocalyptic isolation thing, so…" He unzipped the bag, then instantly realized that it was entirely empty. He checked a few times, insuring that this wasn't just his beyond sleep-deprived imagination. It wasn't.

"Dude…we ate that already," Marshall told him.

"Well, yeah, but what happened to the wrappers?" Ted looked around until his eyes fell on Barney.

"Barney, did you-?"

"No, Ted, of course not! I didn't _eat _the wrappers! However, what I did do was use them for-"

"Question retracted, I already don't wanna know," Ted responded, dropping the empty bag to the ground.

"Look, Ted, as much as you don't wanna admit it, you gotta face the solid truth here," Robin said. "Your little purse of wonders isn't gonna keep us alive forever. We've been out of food for a day and a half; if you'd ask me, I'd say things are getting pretty serious now."

"Yeah, buddy, we really need to find food," Marshall concluded calmly.

Ted mentally debated what they were going to do next. Truly they needed to move northwards, but at the same time, he couldn't argue the fact that everyone needed food, himself included. He thought it over for a while before a conclusion formed in his mind.

The cars littered the streets like garbage, so it wasn't hard finding just one taxi. The true problem was locating one that worked. The gang appointed Lily as their taxi selector, and in less than fifteen minutes, she had lived up to that job and selected for them a yellow taxi still in decent shape.

The engine was eventually started, and with the help of Barney, who was a natural at hotwiring cars, they were good to go. Ted took the wheel, knowing well where to head to.

"Zombie at twelve o' clock!" Barney alerted him as they watched another undead being stumble around straight ahead of them. Ted intended to run it over with the car, but luckily for the zombie, it cleared out of the way before he could.

"Punk got lucky this time," he said smugly, feeling a certain power rush through his veins as he imagined himself as a legendary zombie killer, though in reality he'd only barely shot one to the date. "But he'd better start watchin' his back. The T-Dog's on the loose now, and he's bringin' some pret-ty skilled friends with him."

Soon afterwards, hordes of zombies began clustering around the taxi, and Robin uncranked her window, then pointed her gun out and began to fire. Lily followed suite as Robin lent her an extra gun, and together, they were quite an unstoppable team.

Once most of the creatures had been killed, they rolled up their windows.

"High five for the zombie killing!" Lily declared, victoriously high fiving Robin.

Not long after, Ted pulled up in front of a very familiar spot- MacLaren's, which still stood firmly and uncrumbling in the waste, almost like a beacon of hope.

The place didn't look half as creepy as it did the night before, Barney thought, when it could be seen in plain daylight.

"We're here," Ted announced dramatically.

They stepped out of the car and unsheathed their weapons; Ted's weapon of choice was his ruby bejeweled knife, which he held out in front of him.

Proceeding down the stairs and into the bar itself, they were prepared that the place could be potentially overrun by zombies. Fortunately, it still wasn't, and seemed abnormally deserted in comparison to everything else in the ruins of the city.

The first task was to search for food. After all, when everyone was alive, MacLaren's provided them with lunches, dinners, and sometimes even breakfasts, since they sold pretty much anything- burgers, hot wings, jalapeno poppers, chili, and even lobster on certain days.

A quick search for food by Barney turned up nothing besides spoil and rot- clearly nothing edible. They could have made it if they headed out about five days ago, and that was the frustrating thing.

"Well, Plan A failed," Barney declared bitterly as he retreated from the kitchen, angering because of his growing hunger. "What's your next plan then, Operation Dorkster?"

Ted thought it over. "I don't know…raid all the alcohol we can get until we can find actual food?"

Barney cocked his head. "Sounds like a plan!" He hadn't yet told Ted, but despite all the running, Barney had managed to keep the bottle of Glen McKenna safe that he had stolen the previous night. No matter- he aided the rest of them in looting the remainder of drinks anyway, though wishing just slightly for actual food and maybe even a cigar or two.

Once they had loaded a few bottles of beer and one extra scotch in Ted's bag, plus two generous sized bags each of pretzels and Chex mix that Lily later found in fresh condition, they were ready to go.

They walked back up the steps, snacks and refreshments in tow, before Lily stopped dead in her tracks.

"Whoa," she said, looking down. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Is that really what I think it is?" She pointed to the ground, or more specifically, what seemed to be a decaying, dismembered hand laying on the ground. Marshall stopped next to her, then jumped back.

"Yup. That is what you think it is, Lily. For sure that's what you think it is." He was somewhat sickened at the sight, though he didn't like to admit it- after all, years before, Marshall had been an enthusiast of zombies, and he figured now that he should be well prepared for it all.

"What is it?" Barney asked, but the minute he saw it, he screamed in a very high pitched voice and dove behind Robin, who turned her head and glared at him.

"Guys, I got this," she said. She bent down, about to pick up the appendage, as the others, especially Barney, watched in horror behind her. The moment she laid a finger on it, a zombie, snarling angrily, came charging towards them, from where it was not known.

Collectively, the four of them screamed at once, and Barney was first to run. "Not again!" he cried as he tore off.

But today, bathed in the dull beams of clouded sunlight, Robin was able to get a good glimpse at the creature before running. Now she knew who it was. And she wasn't about to give up and run just yet.


End file.
